“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
When you first look at the verse, it seems so general. Anyone can look at it and see it as “train your kid to be a good person”, but the power behind this verse speaks volumes. It speaks to the power of introducing your child to who God is and His love and greatness. It speaks how essential it is for a parent to show and train up a child in a Godly walk because it go on with the child through adulthood.
I had a tough childhood. I had to go through a lot of changes fairly quickly, which resulted in having to mature quicker than most children my age. I grew up with my dad. It was the first time my dad was on his own raising a daughter on his own and he made mistakes along the way, but the best decision he made for himself, and for me, was to come back to Christ. Come to think of it, Proverbs 22:6 saved his life too. He grew up in church and, just like a lot of us, he decided he wanted to live “la vida loca” (definitely my words, not his) and strayed away from his walk with God. He made a lot of mistakes and hit his head a lot of times along the road. At some point in my childhood, he decided he wanted to reconcile with God and maybe not realizing it, his decision in that moment in time saved the course of my life.
My dad made sure that I grew up in church. I did the whole nine. I did chorus, I did drama, I went to bible study on Wednesdays, youth service on Fridays, I was an usher, I volunteered in the children’s ministry, youth retreats, youth conferences, etc, etc, etc. I looked forward to going to church, I liked worshiping, I loved our youth bible studies, and a lot of us grew up together. However, just like a lot of people in their teen years, I wanted to also enjoy the things of this world too. I eventually stopped going to church around the time that I was 17 or 18. I started college and encountered the world of partying, promiscuity, drugs, and alcohol.
I remember the rush of going to my first college party and I remember that I had to lie to get there. (Terrible, I know.) I remember feeling a sense of belonging. I always struggled with rejection and feeling accepted by my peers and I grew up having very low self esteem, but being at this party made me feel like I was wanted and desired and I felt like I was finally “in”. From then on, I wanted to go to house parties and clubs to get that same rush. I never did any drugs, so my “high” came from guys hitting on me and flirting with me. I remember going to clubs and guys asking me to go into V.I.P. and I thought I was just the coolest girl ever…. in that moment.
After the parties or the clubs, I had to go home and remember that inside was still that girl that dealt with low self esteem, lack of identity, lack of purpose, and dealt heavily with rejection. The more I started going to clubs, I started to realize that I enjoyed the process of getting ready, but their was always this feeling in my gut that would make me feel like I didn’t really belong at the club. Usually, I would get some drinks to drown that feeling, later realizing that was the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention… because of Proverbs 22:6. Now you may ask, “what does that have to do with anything?”, but when you have a relationship with God and you leave His side to do your own thing, God is going to chase you till you come back to Him. Reckless love, He leaves the 99 to chase that 1. Isn’t God so beautiful?!
I kept fighting the feeling because I didn’t want to give up the earthly temporary highs. I eventually got into a relationship and about 2 years into the relationship, I felt the Holy Spirit calling me back to Him again (God is persistent, guys, He never gives up on us.), but I didn’t want to give up the relationship I was in. The guy I was with didn’t have a relationship with God, so I decided to try to bargain with God and say “if you want me, I’m a package deal” and eventually we started going to church together, but I still didn’t want to commit completely to God. I wanted to live a double life and eventually I got so consumed in that double life. Eventually, I knew that the guy I was in wasn’t the guy that God had for me to be my husband and letting go of him was a tough and scary decision, but we ended up breaking up. Now, you would think I would run to God, but apparently I like to learn things the hard way.
After the breakup, I fell into a deep depression and I remember I had so many questions. I knew who God was, but I didn’t want to surrender. I wanted to have complete control of my life, but in reality, I had NO idea what I wanted. I went into this whirlwind of “control”, but in reality, it left me empty. I remember that in that depression, I was keeping myself busy, whether it was working, clubbing, having “girl nights”, and etc. It was as if I was afraid to be alone with myself. I was constantly busy. I was always “talking” to some guy. I had this need to feel desired. I wanted to feel like the hottest girl and I wanted to have full control (talk about spirit of Jezebel). I started having a “hit it and quit it” mentality. I had grown so numb, so selfish, but I thought it made me powerful. I mean, in the end, I had control. I got what I wanted. However, I didn’t know that deep inside of me was still that girl that longed to be loved, understood, accepted, healed, and all of that could only come from God.
It wasn’t until I got pregnant, and was forced to slow down my life, that I got that conviction in my spirit. I could feel the Holy Spirit knocking at the door of my heart all over again. I remember just putting worship music that I remembered from my youth group days and just laying in bed crying. In those moments, I didn’t know what deliverance was, but I could say that’s where my deliverance, my freedom, began. It was as if the Holy Spirit embraced me and said, “I’ve been waiting for you.” It was as if nothing I had done in my past, no mistake, mattered. The Holy Spirit had been waiting for me to just surrender my control and let Him guide me. The beauty of looking back at these times is not only just realizing that God never gives up in pursing us, but also knowing that there were people praying for that very encounter. There were people praying for my healing, for my encounter, and for my salvation.
Looking back, my dad may have not been perfect, but the most perfect thing he did for me was to lead me to Christ. We don’t realize how essential our decisions now are for our future generations. We think that our lives and our decisions don’t effect anybody, but ourselves. However, a lot of us struggle because the sins of our parents, grandparents, ect. The beauty is that you can make the decision to break that! When you come to Christ with a genuine heart and surrender to Him, repent, and ask for Him to break every generational curse that was working in your bloodline, you’ll see that the sins of your ancestors and their consequences stop with you. Our children look at what we do and not what we say. When it says “Train up a child in the way that they should go”, it means there is an action that YOU have to do.
I see a generation of admirers. A lot of people say, “God first, bro”, “I love God”, “I believe in God”, etc, but they start having mini heart attacks whenever you invite them to a church service or a Bible study. In order to train physically, you have to go to a gym. In order to train mentally, you have to read and go to a school. Hence, in order to train spiritually, it’s important to go to church and Bible studies, how else are you going to learn more about God and to be in His presence? It starts with us as parents, and even if you’re not a parent, you could be an aunt, uncle, and even just a family friend, seek God and be the role models to the next generation. A lot of people now have a relationship with God because of their grandmothers, so even if you’re not a parent, you’ll still have an impact on the youth. Essentially, what I want to say is, train yourself up in knowing God, having a relationship with God, so that you can train up the next generation. Teach your children to know God, to pray, to worship, to love others, have compassion, to forgive, to read the Bible, and to trust God with everything they are.
Proverbs 22:6 made the difference in who I am today. When I look back, coming back to Christ was the best decision I could’ve made for myself. I see so many of the people I went to school with and just knew in general struggling emotionally, filled with depression, resentments, anxiety, low self-esteem, and a lot of people my age (I’m young lol) are already going through divorces, struggling financially, multiple children from different parents, looking for hope through cute quotes, different ideologies, alcohol, sex, drugs (yes, weed is a drug), food, and just temporary highs. I see that the example they are setting for their children and it literally breaks my heart. I don’t say any of this in a form of judgment, but because there is so much pain in this world and I get it, I’ve been there, but what a beauty when we come to Christ and are set free and not only are we set free, but we impact our kids and show them how to live in the freedom that comes from Christ.
My goal always is to teach my daughter to love God, to pray, to worship, and to see people through God’s eyes. I know I’ll make mistakes along the way because I’m an imperfect person, but I know that where I fail, God will perfect through His love. The gift of Proverbs 22:6 is a beautiful gift that parents give to their children. It was the best gift given to me.
God bless you guys!
Please if you have any prayer requests, questions, or testimonies, don’t hesitate to share!
My email is: eixarivera26@gmail.com
Beyond the Unexpected 